Sometimes it is hard to understand what God is doing in your life. I feel like this is the situation I have been in for quite some time now. Today is one of those day's that it is more confusing than ever. Five years ago today my son A.J. went to heaven. He was an energetic, adorable, chubby, little 15 month old who made me smile every morning. He would crawl out of his crib every morning and we would hear his little footsteps running into our room where he would pull on my arm and say "cup, mama."
I don't understand why God took him when he did and the way he did. My heart still aches when I think about him and wonder what he would look like now. I wonder how he and Jordan would play together. They would be playing little league together right now. I wonder what kind of big brother he would have been to his two little sisters. I wonder how he would do in school, would he be smart, I have a feeling he would be the class clown like his sister Payton. He had the same little attitude that she does. I think he would look like his sister Camryn with his big brown eyes and olive skin. I think he would look up to and challenge his brother Jordan and also be his best friend.
I cannot wait to be in heaven with him and hold him. I don't understand what God is doing in my life right now, but I am trying to trust Him.
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2 comments:
Hope you know that I think of you often and pray for you frequently.
I miss you friend and wonder how you're **really** doing...outside of the "i'm fine"'s and smiling face. Don't keep yourself so busy that you forget to just be you and take a second to breathe, assess, feel.
I love you and miss you.
Max will be 15 months in just 3 weeks. The older he gets the more we realize how hard it is for you and Dan. Joe and I have been thinking of AJ and wondering what he would be like too. We talk about him all the time. He and Jordans picture is on our family picture wall. Where it will always be.
I hate that we live so far away from you guys. The girls ask about their cousins all the time. They are at Joe's moms right now and Max keeps looking for them. I thought thismorning of Jordan when he did that. I wondered what it must have been like watching him realize AJ wasn't there. We miss you ALL like crazy. Hope to hear from you soon.
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